I just could not let this go by without comment.

Recently, it was reported that a SpaceX prototype rocket, SN10 to be precise, was successfully launched from its Texas pad, went six miles straight up, reoriented itself at its apogee, successfully returned to earth, and executed a picture-perfect vertical soft landing exactly where planned.

What happened a few minutes later, probably while the high fives were still in progress, was described by a Space X spokesperson as a “rapid unscheduled disassembly.”

“Rapid unscheduled disassembly”

Really?

Yes, boys and girls, faithful readers, and all the ships at sea, after sitting docilely on its pad for several minutes, the darn thing blew up, causing a massive fire at the vehicle’s base that, in turn, caused an impromptu (and not nearly as successful) second launch towards the heavens.

I bring this incident to your attention not to make fun of SpaceX, which, after all, is on a very promising learning curve that may well result in reusable rockets, significantly reducing the cost of space exploration and opening the door to long-anticipated space tourism. Certainly, it makes more sense to reuse the paraphernalia associated with getting things into orbit than it does littering the environment with more of man’s detritus.

No, what caught my attention was the description of an explosion and major conflagration as being something as innocuous as a “rapid unscheduled disassembly.”

Somewhere there must be a golden book immortalizing unforgettable examples of “spin.”  Surely “rapid unscheduled disassembly” is deserving of inclusion in the pantheon of superlative attempts to twist the facts to one’s own advantage.

Speaking of “spin” (you didn’t really think you were getting away without some fair, balanced, yet nevertheless snarky political commentary, did you?) …  Anyway, have you noticed the spin cycle going full bore among our Republican friends in the Congress?

It is difficult to master the GOP two-step, which requires now opposing items of business that you once supported under the leadership of the former president. Mush Mouth Mitch (say that three times fast) is finding it difficult to keep up with the monumental spin necessary to reposition his caucus to remain relevant to a public who gives their current president a 60 percent approval rating, and even higher numbers when it comes to handling the COVID-19 pandemic. You know, the one MMM’s political master denied ever existed?

It is beginning to look like a replay of the GOP’s 2009-2010 playbook.

First and most ubiquitous play: Block action on any presidential initiative (praise the Lord for the filibuster), even when such initiative enjoys the overwhelming public support of citizens of all political stripes. By next year, as the calendar turns to 2022, condemn the president for failing to get done that which you made it impossible for him to get done in the first place. Try to flimflam the folks into believing you were acting in their best interest – even when it is obvious you were not.

Stick to issues near and dear to the base you and yours so desperately want to retain, because without it, you and yours are toast – even in the 2022 midterms that otherwise should be kind to you.

Do not waste time with facts. Create alternate facts and an alternate reality. A lot of folks will not catch on until it’s too late. Some will never figure out or admit that they have been had, all of which is so much political gravy.

Be Lucy.

For reasons known but to themselves, and their shrinks, your Democratic colleagues want your love. They call it “bipartisanship.” Even as they kick fruitlessly at the football you keep snatching away, and towards the goalposts you keep moving, they continue to play a game they can’t win, and still they pine for your support. This is a gift from the political gods. Use it.

After all, the strategy has worked before. In the absence of any new ideas, of which your party apparently has none, maybe it can work one more time.

Of course, 2022 is not 2010. As Civil War veterans used to say about their battlefield experiences, they “had seen the elephant.” Perhaps the Democrats will learn from the shellacking they received in 2010 and, having seen that elephant, take steps to avoid a repetition of disaster.

Maybe, just maybe, they’ll figure out Lucy.

We will see.

In the meantime, describing a rocket explosion and fire as a “rapid unscheduled disassembly” is an inspired use of the English language to ameliorate an otherwise unpalatable reality.

To the anonymous and possibly underpaid wordsmith – Love it!