Hanging on the wall outside the office of one of the mayors for whom I worked was a framed inspirational poem written by Robert Fulghum entitled “Everything I really need to know I learned in kindergarten.” What followed was a list of aphorisms such as “Play Fair,” “CLEAN UP YOUR OWN MESS,” and, perhaps most importantly, “Say you’re SORRY when you HURT somebody.” (Mr. Fulghum’s emphasis.)

There are darker truisms learned in kindergarten missing from the list, such as that, in almost any group, there are bullies who don’t play fair, who are unwilling to clean up their own messes, and, perhaps most importantly, are unwilling to ever say they’re sorry when they hurt someone.

We learned in kindergarten that when you give in to a bully’s demands, you don’t stop the demands. You only encourage the next one as the bully figures out their bullying tactics can help them have their way.

We learned, perhaps reluctantly, that among the ways to handle a bully is to confront them by simply saying, “No. Your conduct is unacceptable and I’m not going to cave in to your demands.”

Such confrontation is rarely easy. It is stressful. It can be painful. It can hurt innocent people caught in the crossfire.

But sometimes is becomes necessary.

If only to discourage the next time.

Which brings us to our president, and to our president’s wall on the southern border.

It would be one thing if there was assurance that the president sincerely believes that a physical barrier is necessary to border security. That is certainly what he says, but has this transactional president given any reason to conclude that he sincerely believes in anything beyond his own personal welfare?

The “call for the wall” began as a line used in campaign rallies, perhaps originally inserted into his remarks by aides to remind him to do a riff on his views on immigration. The line got a raucous response from his base, and it evolved into a campaign promise that the president now feels must be kept, or risk losing that same base.

Had the presidential candidate gotten a similar reaction talking about building a lighter-than-air Zeppelin built out of concrete and rebar and paid for by Lichtenstein, we could easily be talking about concrete airships for which Lichtenstein refused to pay rather than concrete, or see-through steel walls.

There is no disagreement about the need for border security. There can be debate over which measures are necessary, and a physical wall is part of that discussion. Arguments can be made for it. An aggressive defense appeared few weeks ago on this page. Despite reservations about the xenophobic undertones of that piece, it was not without its points.

Not surprisingly, our president made the conscious decision not to engage in debate. Rather than play the role of national leader, he chose to play the role of national bully.

Using the powers of his office, he purposely manufactured a crisis, for which he said he would take responsibility, shutting down one fourth of the government and holding eight hundred thousand federal workers and their paychecks hostage until his ultimatum resulted in a wall – on his terms and none other.

Beyond those workers directly affected, the ripple of effects of their loss of income is just beginning to be felt.

There is no reason for this pain other than to provide leverage to force compliance with his autocratic wishes.

These are the tactics of a bully, and as previously noted, giving in to a bully only encourages repetition of similar tactics down the road over some other hissy-fit yet unforeseen.

The president has painted himself into a corner, but he is the artist of his own predicament. No one is required, or even able, to save him from himself.

Mr. President, it is time to climb down from your bully pulpit and play fair with those unpaid federal workers, and with the American people. It is time to clean up your own mess, and most importantly, it is time to say you’re sorry to every American hurt by your actions.

These are lessons that should have been learned in kindergarten.